Wow. A lot of stuff to digest here.
Want to correct a statement: "You have tried many programs. And yet none have worked." Not true. I have only tried AA. I am now also including RR, SMART, AVRT and WFS.
When someone tells me to "shut up and listen", that doesn't make me want to shut up and listen. It may have worked when I was 5 years old, as an adult, not so much. Questions should be encouraged and answered as best as possible, not dismissed out of hand.
This one really surprises me: "I just get frustrated watching people run from program to program looking for the best way." Wow. No words. If you don't find the best way on the first try please don't look for a better way because that just frustrates me?? Just wow.
I guess my expectations are unrealistic. AA's policy is stated as one of "attraction" rather than promotion. Is it just me or are those attitudes not conducive to attracting newly sober alcoholics? At least the ones that have managed to hang on to a few of their brain cells?
I would hope that if someone asked me for advice and that person seemed to me to be too impatient, was paying attention to the wrong things, and balking when they shouldn't be, I would point out that it is all part of the process and point them to chapters in the Big Book that may be of help. Like somebody did in a response here to my original post.
I would also hope that if I were an AA old-timer and I felt unable to answer questions or understand a newly sober person that had reached out to me I would do my best to refer them to someone with more experience, or someone that had a different viewpoint, rather than ushering them out the door.
Now for some background: How did I come to approach this person? Last year I was in AA for just over a month. I approached a speaker after a speakers meeting and she gave me her telephone number. I never contacted her, instead I went out of the program. I now have 10 days and phoned the speaker as I still had her number and thought she might have some advice for me as to how to fit into AA better than I'm doing this time around. That was her advice.
Another clarification. When I referred to AA "loons" that was NOT meant to be disparaging. I consider myself a loon. Loons are the best people. They are fun, funny, and make the world a more interesting place! Long live loony people!!
Today I have decided I will keep looking for meetings where I fit in better. I will also utilize other recovery methods where they work for me. The people that tell me this is my sobriety, my journey, are right. I'm not quitting because of a few bumps in the road!
Namaste
