One thing about my alcoholism is that I didn't want to do things the hard way. I was looking for an angle. When it came to feelings, emotions, or pain, I just reached for a bottle. It was the easy quick solution to what I was feeling.
So when I first encountered AA, I didn't want to do it their way. I thought I'd do it easier, faster, and simpler.
Part of my process is realizing that I needed to be able to commit to something that I didn't create, or control, and that maybe I really DIDN'T know what was best for me.