Originally Posted by
RolyPoly 
Thanks everyone. People are also skeptical because I quit without any withdrawal symptoms, and I find myself trying to convince them that I really do have a drinking problem. Do they think I'm making it all up and for some reason want to sit in meetings because I have nothing better to do? I live in California - there are tons of better things to do than sit with a bunch of loons at AA meetings!!
I'm starting to use SMART, AVRT and Women for Sobriety. I also like the Pagan 12 Steps, resonated much more with me than the traditional AA 12 Steps.
Thanks goodness for this board. I'd be on my 2nd bottle of Chardonnay already if I relied only on AA.
You have tried many programs. And yet none have worked. Have you thought abut why this might be?
I found that everyone else and every program was flawed. Everything but me. Until I was able to look myself in the mirror and deal with my flaws I was unable to see the truth in any program.
I had someone also tell me the same thing 9 months ago. It was my sponsor's sponsor. So I ran to RR because of those crazy 12th steppers. Funny, RR did not solve it for me because I was the problem.
I used to think bottoms were about what we lost. I never realized that bottoms are such an emotional thing. I lost myself and then set new bottoms in recovery. When I could go no lower (living that is) things shifted for me.
Good luck - my guess is the solution is not in any of the programs you are exploring but inside you.