Last Monday after my homegroup meeting, a newcomer said that he wanted to be sober but didn't want to do the work that AA suggests.
I offered that perhaps he wasn't done researching. AA recovery does not happen by osmosis. It takes work. There are other programs other than AA out there. It is not for everyone. I have more than once told someone that by the way they were talking, they did not sound like AA was for them at that time.
I needed to be in AA when I was 18, but I did not WANT it enough until I was 38. "Rarely do we quit while there is still time." Meaning I had 20 more years of using/drinking before I was desperate enough to want sobriety in AA more than anything.
I also had a friend who drank herself to death when I was about 2 years sober. People die of alcoholism all the time. Choosing alcoholic death is a valid choice, IMO. I have made that choice before. I have been told a dozen times that I was not desperate enough for AA. And they were right, I wasn't. However, when I was ready to be sober in AA, there was no stopping me. That was my experience.
I needed all my life experiences to be who I am today and to be able to help other suffering alcoholics. And yes, going back out to keep drinking and become more desperate is a part of that story. And I'm glad. I wouldn't trade it.