Let's see….mine said that me asking him to quit made me a person that he didn't want to be with because I am too controlling. He also said…...
- He is a grown man and doesn't need to be treated like a child he already has a mom
- I need to chill
- He is no longer an alcoholic because a REAL alcoholic wouldn't be able to stay sober for 10 years (which he had)
- He was never really an alcoholic he was living with one and when they split the problem went with her (I guess he forgot the part that she left him after his alcoholism sent him to the hospital in a 30 day coma).
Then his next tactic was to get me to agree to give up something I loved (my cats) if he was going to quit drinking so that things were "fair" (just more quacking because he knew that wasn't happening).
He was and had been sober for 10 years when I met him. The relapse was hellacious. He chose sobriety when after a horrific night I told him to get the f**k out of my house and out of my life. He embraced recovery again and its been near 2 years the last year being really, really happy. I had to attend Al Anon to deal with it for months. Love him he is an angel, and he works his recovery daily - but I tell ya what. If he ever relapses again he will be picking his sh!t up off the street no round two's and I remind him of that every once in awhile.
You already sound like you have some perspective - just for reinforcement - unless you have decided to sentence your self to life of hell that you cannot fathom move along.