Hi allieclaire. I was with my husband 18 years and he has had an addiction with alcohol before I met him but I was young and just thought he would grow out of it, he didn't infact throughout our marriage there were times his addiction was so bad it was a rarely sober. Times he would try to moderate his drinking and There were other times he quit but could never sustain it for long periods. He then became more of a binge drinker. He would tell me after a particularly bad binge that he was never drinking again he recognised he had a problem with drink and would seek help he was in love with me and didn't want to lose me by a few days later when the guilt had eased and he was beginning to feel better that he could manage his drinking himself and he didn't need to speak to a counsellor. His friends would tell him he didn't have an alcohol problem "you just like a drink there's nothing wrong with that". Yet when he became too drunk they couldn't wait to get rid of him and at times dropped him at my front door and drove off before I even opened the door. Yet he was more loyal to his fiends than me!!!! His friends won't tell him he has a problem because then they would have to look at their own drinking and they are not prepared to do that they won't acknowledge they have a problem.
He left me 4 months ago as he decided that he wanted to drink more than be at home with his wife and kids. Alcoholism is a confusing disease and I am still trying to get my head around it. There is a stickie about alcoholic thinking at the top of the forum also the other stickies have lots of information to help you understand this addiction. Read all you can to help you understand.
When an alcoholic is faced with giving up drink their alcoholic voice comes into play, they are more scared of living without their addiction as it means looking deep within themselves as to how and why the addiction started it also means changing their circle of friends if they are drinkers. Alcohol is comforting it blocks out their pain, distress, thoughts, poor decisions and ensures that they don't think about anything too serious!! To an alcoholic they don't see a problem and will do anything to ensure they can continue to drink even hurt the ones they love and who love them. Nothing and no one gets I between an alcoholic and their alcohol and they will say and do anything to get their next drink.
There is so much more to your question please read all you can. I wish you peace and send hugs