I called it flipping. Mine would flip, back and forth. One minute I was his everything. I was his Pride and Joy. His soul mate. He would look at me with that smile... the special one just for me. Other people saw him look at me with that smile. Then..Anything...anything...literally anything could trigger him to flip and suddenly I was a liar, a bitch, a mistake. The WORST. Its sickening. Its...I don't know the word. Soul sucking. Thing is, see, having to ask him to moderate his behavior means that his current behavior is not acceptable to you. Stop trying to force yourself to accept something that is clearly not making you happy. I have spent months...no years, really, years at this point, trying to understand it, the addiction, the alcohol. Was it mental illness? Was it addiction? In the end..it does not really matter. What matters is that I could not tolerate, could not accept that behavior anymore. It was literally sucking the life out of me. I was becoming so exhausted, so stressed, so emotionally overwrought by his behavior I had to throw the towel in.
After over seven months apart from him I have slowly come to the realization that it was hopeless and I should have gotten out much much sooner. I now see it all for what it was. Yes, I still love him. Yes, it all still hurts. But you will never ever make sense of his behavior, and you really really reallllly do not need to. I thought I did. I learned that I didn't. I had to ACCEPT that letting go of him because he was full of behavior that was unacceptable to me was good enough reason.
I have not read your other posts, though I will. I can only say, if this is what he is doing? I expect it to escalate. I, with all the love and support I can muster, suggest that you bail on the whole thing now before it gets worse.