If you're referring to my comments, Purpleknight, and I'm not assuming that you are, I am not a proponent of "tough love" as that expression is commonly used. I am, however, in favor of both physical and emotional well-being, as well as in personal responsibility. As per my previous comments, I am radically opposed to shaming as a means of provoking meaningful changes in behavior, and the history of humankind supports this.
To reiterate, if all I do is pick myself up and move on following a relapse, then I have learned nothing and, perhaps worse, am only setting myself up for further relapse. What I think is needed is a sober (and, ideally, a sobering) re-evaluation of what I've been doing in order to achieve sobriety up until that point. Something different needs to be tried in place of "All I need to do is be more mindful and not drink the next time." Sustained, long-term sobriety cannot be accomplished, I believe, without an honest and rigorous accounting of myself and my strategies to remain sober.
I've learned in my work and in my own life that meaningful change, moving from misery and despair, and psychological well-being is virtually impossible without doing what is necessary to bring myself to a better place. Being open and willing to doing things that are uncomfortable for me, go against my precious philosophy and values (some of which were killing me), and which I insist that I simply cannot (will not) do have been the foundation for those things that indeed have taken me to a much better place. Sitting still in my misery, hoping for the best, and thinking myself through my struggles is no decision at all