discounting the positive?
When is enough, enough? And in this case, I mean: When is your RAH "doing" enough, and I'm just not being appreciative enough? I know he's making the attempt to "do more/better" when it comes to treating his addiction, but he says he feels like I'm discounting the positive things he is doing (recovery group once a week, therapist monthly?, taking better care of his physical health) and not acknowledging the hard work he is doing.
I think part of the problem is that I also see that except for the last few days, I've watched him roll in and out of lapse/relapse over months now and I feel like his current sobriety is possibly being used like a bargaining chip…he's sober because I've cut off ties with the people in my life he doesn't "like" - my friends, his sister, the interventionist we worked with, to name a few. (He feels strongly that I "overshare" his private business and that I just need to keep my mouth shut and talk to him when I have issues with his drinking.) SO - is there an "enough"? Is there a way to even measure that?