I wish AH was no contact with her too but I can't control him. If he wants to keep her in his life that's his choice. He understands that the girls and I are a packaged deal though and his FOO is unwelcome in our lives.
Firesprite, I have to ask, do you have your DD in literal 'gut instincts' classes or do you mean she is learning from you? If it's the former, how did you find them and what are they called? I would like something like that for myself (lol) and for my daughters when they're older.