Timeiskey

Greetings Everyone. I joined this site a little over a week ago when my then-boyfriend and I began to break up. We were together for ten months. Doesn't seem to long from the outside, but we live right next to each other, share outside space and basically spent every day together- calling our two places our loving compound. Being a musician in New Orleans, I thought his heavy drinking was part of the lifestyle here. I am new to the area and was under some misconceptions. The first eight months revealed questions about common goals, such as future financial security, mature decision making, commitment. People kept telling me, "well, he is a musician...that is how they are..." But I have met many musicians now and that isn't necessarily the case...this band of "lost boys" as they have been called are in a class all their own.
He was so loving and declared his feelings for me to everyone. People were constantly telling me how happy he was with me, how much better he seemed, which should have been a red flag. There have been many red flags. His drinking increased about two months ago. We were going to Florida and I was driving. He came home from his gig and he was completely out of control- drunk and excited. In the car, he was overly animated and then he was passed out.
Then things started to change at home. I cooked a meal for him one night, which took several hours and when he got home, he was eating a hot dog. I was so upset with him. He told me not to worry, because my meal would taste better then next day. I met him for a festival he was working in Switzerland. He had arrived several days before me and it was obvious that he had dropped all of his restraint. It was six days of vodka and ranting. It wasn't all bad, but by the time I got home, I was disgusted. We argued and I told him that his alcohol was starting to impact our relationship. I asked him to moderate his drinking and start helping me save for our future. After all, we had already had many talks about moving in together and having a commitment ceremony. He said he had to think about whether he wanted to take our relationship to the next level...this was so shocking to me, because he had pursued me for months- begged me to give him a chance- and had been so committed. Looking back, in the past few months, he had already stopped working at the relationship. He quit cooking for us, (I was making all the meals), stopped helping me by walking the dog, taking out my trash, just doing the little things that he had done on his own before. I could see resentment in his eyes.
When we broke up officially, he told me that he liked his life just as it was. That he wasn't willing to change anything and had believed that I was the person that could live day by day with him without having to worry so much about a future. He rents his place and sometimes will have to put off paying a bill but always seems to have money to buy rounds of drinks for his friends. On my birthday we talked and I could see this incredible hate in his empty eyes. He snuck drinks when my back was turned, began to come around to some sentiment of compassion and told me we would talk more after work the next day. He didn't come home. I understand that it is over. It is very difficult because he is such an incredibly talented, intelligent and amazing person...but just like that (snap) he is someone else. He has friends that he has been running to and staying with that tell him there is nothing wrong and that I am being ridiculous. Telling him that he doesn't really love me and that it has only been ten months. Saddest part is that I am talking about a 44 year old man. I live right next to him and moving is not an option. Any advice to help a broken hearted lady?