I agree DD in that many of us tend to be "serial relapse" prone, and
do little or nothing to change what didn't work before.
The "oh well" attitude can prolong or even derail a person's permanent sobriety.
I've relapsed plenty in my day, but I found once my absolute imperative was sobriety,
I only had one relapse because I was working every angle to maximize my chance of getting it right and not slipping again.
I put a "no tolerance" rule in place for myself and stuck to it once I got for real
that moderation was impossible for me and that I could never again drink safely.
Of course everyone is different, and at different stages of recovery.
I may not have been able to do this five years ago.
I don't know, because I kept giving myself permission to step off the wagon
when under terrible family or work stress.
My attitude was different then. I really wasn't done yet, but wasn't being honest with myself about it.
It's a very interesting dilemma, in that on this list we are here to support each other no matter what, but also to call things honestly to help people get perspective on their situations.
So perhaps each of us has to internally be honest about how avoidable a relapse really is?
Not sure--but I do know that once my attitude changed, my relapses have stopped since I have allowed no emotional "escape clauses" for drinking in my current life.
That has been sorely tested these past years as well, especially with my spouse's drinking issues.