Hi and welcome.
“It was rather tough for me to post this message, its weird to feel like its weak to ask for help, but i realize its not a weakness, its weak that i need alcohol to enjoy life and i dont want this any longer!”
I found that honesty about our own drinking along with accepting that we can’t drink in safety is extremely important for long term recovery.
After clearing the cobwebs from my head I needed to explore the reasons I drank besides I liked the taste. What I found was that I was chasing the good feeling I got in the beginning of my drinking which progressed to escaping my feelings which included my fears, insecurity, anger and other issues people usually handle in a sane manner. Unfortunately these feelings were always there the next day and I continued to chase the escape.
When I got sick and tired of being sick and tired I joined AA to help straighten out my undisciplined lifestyle. Back then there was no internet and it was the most popular help organization for getting sober. Many years later it still works for me.
BE WELL