I'm so happy to have found a place to 'talk' until I can get to a meeting at 12.
I woke up this morning after a terrible, terrible night & decided to quit drinking. I've always kinda thought that I was an alcoholic. Or maybe had a teeny-tiny drinking problem, but not one that was out of control enough to quit and go into recovery. I think now is the time
I am recently married (April 26th!) to a wonderful man. He doesn't have a drinking problem btw. Last night I went out with a few gf's & drove home drunk. I pushed the apartment gate open with my car (I didn't have my clicker to get it) & it pulled my front plate off. I didn't notice at the time. I went in my house & started a fight with my husband over absolutely nothing. I yelled at him & said hurtful things. Things that I don't even remember saying, but I know I cannot take them back. My behavior was inexcusable. And I hate myself so much for how I've been treating him lately.
At 2am the cops showed up at our apartment over me hitting the gate. They had my license plate. It's a misdemeanor hit & run against property. They're not pressing charges, but I am beyond humiliated. I humiliated my husband in front of our neighbors as well.
They shame inside me right now is unbearable. I betrayed his trust & I let him down. He deserves to trust that his wife will be a kind and reliable companion. Not a drunken mess. And I let him down.
I woke up and apologized to him and decided that it's time to stop drinking. He said he forgives me, but I know he's still angry. He deserves to be and probably will be for awhile. I let him down
I'm SO lucky that I didn't get a DUI or kill/injure someone or myself. But it's time to stop before that happens. This isn't the 1st time & if I don't quit I know it won't be the last
Thanks for listening
I have to work until 12 but I'm going to a meeting right after.