now in her opinion MY kid is at a clear disadvantage because I don't live with mister no I can't get up to see my daughter before 3 pm
I have a friend going through a similar thing with her mom, Bodkin. Basically, her mom's message was "EVERYONE's unhappy so why do you think YOU should be different? Why don't you just do what the rest of us do and SUCK IT UP!?" -- which, I think, is the most horrid message to send your child.
I think her mom and yours both push the "children without a father are at such a disadvantage" agenda because
they chose to stay in a ****** marriage and they need to justify that to themselves, somehow. To feel good about their choice. My friend told her mom, "Mom -- you made the choice to stay with dad, and that was your choice. I'm not criticizing that, so please don't criticize
my choice to leave my children's abusive father. At the end of the day, I'm the one who has to live with my decision just like you're the one who has to live with yours."