I've finally started to realize that is one of my biggest character defects. The avoidance of ill feelings at all costs! If someone else feels bad.. fix it! It makes me feel bad to see someone else feel bad, no one should ever have to feel bad, not me, not you, not friends or strangers. I've never learned how to properly process those feelings. I always try to stuff, erase or hide them.
You sound just like me!!! I've figured out that as a kid, I was praised when I helped others, did things for others, put my own needs behind those of others -- and I spent the rest of my life doing exactly that because, well, that's what I thought was expected of me; that's what made me feel good. Until it didn't.
I still get this gut feeling of wanting it all to go away and wanting to run or end the conversation or just sink through the ground whenever I or anyone else feels bad. I'm just more able to
let it be these days...