Hello Winter. Welcome to SR! Its pain that brings you here, I can hear that in your post, but here you will find some help. there are so many who are where you are, who have been where you are, and those who have found joy again, even after being in your shoes.
As Zoso noted, you have been hurting for a long time. And we can help you, with sharing our own stories, of pain and of found hope.
I know what you are saying... I have wondered that myself. why there are not more social services, for instance, to counsel the families of addicts/alcoholics. I definitely believe there is a need for more help.
Al-anon is a wonderful source. Or Nar-anon, for addicts families. Have you tried one ? You must be in such need, such pain, if you have not gotten any help during all this time.
we have some wonderful 'stickies'-stories about addicts and their families.. their struggles,,, and their successes.
You may have heard about the three C's? You did not cause it, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. However, you can change how you react to it. You can decide what you want in life. some people detach... that helps a lot. face to face meetings with others who have been there. reading literature about addiction and what you can expect.
Do you have any family support, or friends who know? If not, you are not alone there either. Many of us pretty much only have each other here, and it works miracles sometimes, and we can be a pretty strong support !
Please, keep posting. It sounds like you could use some help and we are willing and we care.
I am sorry for your pain. It can get better, though, believe this.
