Alcohol being a trigger
Alcohol being a trigger
So I have not written for a long time. I have had no contact with my EXABF for 1 year. And by the way, for those who wonder, yeah no contact does work.
But I write because I have started dating a man who seems, well for lack of a better word, a normal grown up. We are having a real good time and I note there is no passive aggressive ****, no victim ****, and he is a good communicator. So, basically I feel comfortable and safe with him.
Except: the idea of alcohol still makes me anxious. I think I have had only a couple glasses of wine in a year, because it is a trigger. Having been so thoroughly lied to by my exabf over his drinking...i mean omg...it took a year for me to figure it out and I get scared of how easy people lie about their drinking; because they are lying not to me, but to THEMSELVES.
From what I can see in the 5 weeks I have known this man, he drinks 1 shot or 2 shots of tequila and has a cigar after work. I know many people drink like this...glass of wine with dinner, port before bed etc. But...there is an anxiety still...what if...what if....I have done the alcoholic routine twice now. The first time he was not secret, that man was my education. The second go around was the last one...the closet drinker. He knew I was zero tolerant of drug and alcohol abuse, so he went undercover.
Any advice on how I can deal with my feelings? I have no real interest in being with a teetotaler or definitely not with a recovering alcoholic and for me, I really want to start drinking normally eventually. I do miss my Cosmos and Champagne.
Hugs,
Carrie