BobArctor I imagine it sounds quite strange. Although for the six plus months since I was using again, needles were only used a handful of times. Sniffing it has been the main method. I've wanted to be a phlebotomist ever since I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease and had to have blood drawn every few months. I understand the fear some have of getting blood drawn, specifically children, and I would love to be a pediatric phlebotomist. I work very well with kids and my wish is that I could make a slightly scary experience not so scary at all.
My therapist told me NA might not be the best idea. I have heard a lot of bragging about drug use, which I cannot stand. Also, I do not need to meet anyone else with connections. I hope that doesn't sound cruel. Most programs where I live are super expensive. I have never heard of SMART, but it seems like something I should look into. Thank you for commenting and your suggestion! Wish you well.