On this rainy morning I am wondering how it is we all come to find our HP (or not) in so many varied ways.
I think this is something that RAH & I have very different experiences & struggles with. Not so much in our actual beliefs, more in our individual conviction in our spirituality. I have a firm sense of my spirituality & what it means TO ME, but he is still without an absolute definition of WHAT he actually believes in & I find that, idk...... fascinating? surprising? I'm not sure - it's not a judgment, I'm not trying to get all over his side of the street.... it actually breaks my heart a bit because I think a lot of his struggles could be so much easier if he would get back to this core piece & work outward from there.
(And certainly, in my Codiest moments, it scares me to think that without that piece in place it could mean he's white-knuckling more than either of us realize & it could make his recovery so much longer & more arduous than it has to be... nevermind the potential for relapse skyrockets IMO. I don't dwell on those thoughts though - these are the things that I have the very LEAST control over. More than anything it hurts to watch him struggle when I know he could probably at least have a bit more peace at times.)
Thinking about it this morning made me wonder how everyone else's experiences are likely as/more varied. So for all you heavy thinkers who feel like sharing on this Monday morning, I wonder:
Did you grow up with a strong influence of religion or spirituality from within your FOO?
If so, did you find that the way you were raised in your spirituality continued to serve you into adulthood (& especially in your recovery); where you continued to believe & find faith & comfort in the same ideals? Did that continued conviction come from just "always" believing or did you re-examine the ideals of what you were raised with & judge them to still be relatable & suitable to your life?
Or did you, at some point in your adulthood, examine the dogma you were raised with & find that either parts or the whole no longer provided you spiritual comfort?
If so, did recovery bring you to this Spiritual Quest/Awakening or is it something that you sought out for yourself previously to & independent of your recovery needs?
Or maybe you do not & never have identified with a HP at all?
A
I find this stuff really fascinating - there is no wrong answer... there is no single, right way - just the right way
for you.