Yeah, the only thing I can go back to is denial and ignorance.
I was raised by an NPD ACOA and I married an ACOA that turned into an alcoholic himself. My kids will be ACOA simply by association. All I can hope for is that I keep my eye on the prize and continue to grow emotionally so that I can cultivate the tools necessary to provide a happier and healthier home for my children than I or my husband were raised in.
Besides, what is normal anyway? Everyone has problems. I'm surprised at how many people I've met at alanon who don't have alcoholic husbands as their qualifiers.