I am currently tempted to reconcile with ABF because I am very lonely and I miss our life together. Then I remind myself of why we broke up:
- the night-long disappearances after a *store-run* with eventual return totally wasted
- the drunk sleep peeing (a few times he literally peed on me)
- the drunk cooking
- the drunk threatening our apartment manager with a knife (he got very lucky with that one)
- the drunk talking about hurting the dog (he adores the dog and just wanted to get at me, but this one still hurts my heart and makes me very sad. I feel ashamed for even writing this)
- the drunk yelling, screaming, spitting in my face
- the drunk rage when my sister and my kids were visiting after I begged him not to drink while they were with us (their dad died of liver failure recently and I wanted them to get a break from alcoholism)
- the recent comment on the phone that he is going home for a *cold one* - there went all my hope that his recent detox and rehab actually worked
- the drunk a million other things....
Long story short, I make it a point to remember the bad times and why I separated from him when I start to doubt myself. I told him he needs to be at least a year sober and he has not been. So no.
Focusing on the bad can be a good thing.
