I think it is time and your actions that count.
At the em of the day, there is only you that can get you through this. I am sure her love is helpful, supportive and comforting, but you have to do this on your own with your own tools and coping strategies.
Do you think it perhaps sounds a little selfish to say you cannot do this without her love?
That is a lot of responsibility to put on somebody who has probably deserved none of your bad behaviour.
I presume yo had her love when you started drinking to excess? Was her love that important then too?
She is allowed to say she has had enough and this goes beyond what she signed up for when she married you.
Forgiveness is on her timescale and not yours.
You cannot dictate how much support she should give you in this. She is not duty bound to support and encourage you either, especially if you have hurt her feelings, which it sounds like you have.
You have to give her time.
If you have been drinking for many years, she is not going to be okay after one conversation when you ask her to forgive you.
I have done it myself too.
Made all the promises that everything will change, everything will be different, but never followed it up with any actions to demonstrate I meant what I said.
Pleading, begging and crying will probably make things worse.
I know it is hard, but perhaps getting busy and being productive instead of wallowing in self pity, might take your mind off things for a while and give you both some space.
Could you go make your garden look great, do a job or chore that needs doing that will occupy you for a few hours? Why not go sort out a counsellor, show her you want to save your marriage? Is that all for her to sort out too? Have you thought about going to meetings? You get get busy finding a meeting that you might want to go to.
Going back to the bottle or drowning your sorrows in drink is going to infuriate her even more.
I wish you the best x