Riverbird

I have a few questions I'm hoping someone can help me with.

I've been sober 2.5 years. I have a long list of mental health issues, including PTSD, which I am on multiple medications for. I have seen HUGE improvements in my mental health through sobriety, hard work, and finding the right meds. I used to have horrible nightmares. I still do occasionally, but the bigger problem now is more that i've become subconsciously afraid to sleep. I was on gabapentin for anxiety, and my psychiatrist increased my dose at night in hopes it would help me relax and sleep. It helped a little at first but then not so much. I started getting worried because I'd been told it could cause depression and I'd been struggling a lot with depression ever since the increased dose.

Before I was on the gabapentin I was on a different anxiety medication. This was almost 3 years ago. I'd just gotten out of the hospitals after a suicidal episode. I was having flashbacks and panic attacks pretty much constantly, so I was taking this medication very regularly. It worked, but I had to go off of it because it made me really sleepy. Now I don't take anxiety medication during the day, and I really need something that can help me sleep. I've stopped taking the gabapentin, and would like to go back to this other one. Unfortunately my records are very complicated (I've been to a few different doctors since then due to financial issues, and I've had to try LOTS of different meds since then). So, I'm not sure what the medication was. What I do know:

I also previously took Prazosin, which is what I'm on now. I thought that was the one but now that I'm seeing the pills it's not. I'm hoping it will still help with sleep, as I've heard from others it worked for them, but so far not so much.

It was a tablet, as I was having to cut it in half. The other ones I've taken have been capsules. I feel like it was white, but I could be wrong on that.

It was prescribed by my addictions psychiatrist during a time when I was struggling hugely trying to get sober, so it wouldn't have been anything that had addiction potential. He tended to prescribe more non-traditional type stuff (like gabapentin that's for seizures but also helps with anxiety) since a lot of traditional anxiety meds would've caused addiction issues for me.

It wasn't a sleep specific medication, because at the time I was taking it during the day, and I used to have big issues with abusing sleep meds so that's not an option for me.

Sooooo....does anyone have any idea what this medication might have been? I'd love to get back on it since I know it worked for me! If not that, does anyone have any suggestions of what might work in this situation? I'm really struggling with sleep right now, and this nighttime anxiety is driving me crazy! No matter how tired I am, as soon as my head hits the pillow my eyes pop open and I'm wide awake fighting sleep! It takes me many many hours to fall asleep. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

(If you're wondering, I am doing a lot of other stuff outside of medication to work on sleep. I'll take suggestions on that too if you really want, but I'm pretty well versed in that. I just need a little chemical type help to get over this hump and start sleeping again. I'm on a very bad cycle and it's causing issues everywhere else in my life because I can only sleep a few hours a night. Thanks!).