Originally Posted by
iamthird 
Last night was really awesome. My 6 year old princess is really amazing. She said some things last night which really opened my eyes. I really do humble myself and learn from my baby girl. She said on her own "I am so happy! Thank you for giving me the best 4th of July ever!" That statement made me realize that I am the only one focusing on what was "lacking". She was completely fulfilled and happy with yesterday's events. Her facial expressions with every firework and the way she danced to the music that accompanied the fireworks in the fireworks show just made my heart melt. She really was so happy!
She also said "I never do fun things like this with Daddy." If I am honest, separated AH always just did the bare minimum for holidays, which is not who I am at all. He was abandoned and neglected as a child so holidays were never made a big deal of in his childhood. So his view on holidays were not the same as mine. I am corny. I decorated our living room yesterday with little decorations from the Dollar Tree so she would wake up to something special. I bought her rocks and paint from The Dollar Tree as well and as we waited for the fireworks show last night we painted rocks red, white and blue designs. Those are things we never would have done if separated AH was in the picture. This is where growth is coming through my pain and I am realizing...I really was not happy with him and who he was progressing into.
Although holidays are rough and it seems like every one is a little happy family...I realize I already have a little happy family. Things may be rough but I was in control yesterday. I was not worrying about if he was going to drink too much or when he was sober if that was going to be the day he relapsed, etc...I was in control of my day and things went as planned and my daughter was so happy. Shame on me for making it about myself before. I feel so lucky to have her. She is really teaching me all I need to know, and she is only 6 years old. Who needs a therapist? Lol!!
Thanks everyone for your support.
Your little girl sounds very smart.
I challenge to you to expand your vision about what a happy healthy family looks like. Mom, dad and kids is a stereotype. There are many more exceptional and rewarding family makeups. They are all a family, jut not leave it beaver roles.
I have never been married nor had kids, but I most definitely have a family. BF and 2 dogs (my boys) are my family. Before BF and second dog, it was just me and my dog. He and I were a happy family.
When my exA left, I was horribly depressed and couldn't see past my own loss to realize just how lucky I am. I am healthy, smart, attractive, kind and honest. I have kind friends even if we don't contact each other all the time. Most people are not as fortunate as I am yet after my break up, I could only see what I was missing from my life. I could not see what I had. It took a few years before I could really see what I had and feel happy again. The happiness comes and goes, but when it goes, I realize I have a choice about how I can view my life. Glass half full or half empty, ya know?
You sound pretty fortunate to me to be healthy enough to go anywhere for the fourth (no major illness), you have a little girl who sounds like she loves you and appreciates you, you had another year of getting to see fireworks, you are smart enough to recognize your situation. Those are all blessings in your life.