It isn't clear to me from this post if you are still having contact / letting the kids have contact with this verbal abuse towards you.
If he is gone for 2 years, maybe no contact would be a first step
Kids wouldn't see bad example, you don't have to hear it.
His poor health sounds like his own doing so leave him to his own consequences.
It is hurting you, and that's reason enough.
My advice with kids is do some outside exercise / fun activities to make good memories and burn off extra energy. Win win
