Originally Posted by
FeenixxRising 
When I finally peeled away all my "reasons" or "justifications" for drinking, I finally understood I always drank again for one reason. It was because I liked the way it made me feel, I liked the buzz and I liked the feeling of euphoria. When I relapsed, there were no "strange mental blank spots"; although, at the time I thought that was the case. But when I really took the time to think about my actions, I realized I simply said, screw it, I'm going to drink", and then made the very conscience but irrational decision to do just that.
Alcohol worked for me until it didn't. In the end those few hours of liquid induced bliss came with a heavy price in emotional, financial and physical consequences.
really lke this feenixrising, pretty much sums it up for me also. After the difficult emotions surfaced within me,, there was always that " screw it " bit before any substance was used.