Katie88.....drinking makes it sooooo much worse. Trust me, no matter where you are in life or career , we all looked in the mirror and loathed what was staring back. Once I stopped I could actually look myself in the eye and feel like I accomplished something. As the days roll on its amazing how much better you will feel about yourself. It will alleviate your depression too . You can do this . We've all felt what you are feeling and are here to support you .