Hi Chance2,
Thanks for posting here. I, too, have had my struggles with mental health. Been to some very dark corners of the human mind.
If I may ask, what type of counseling have you done? Any other services that you've received or pursued for mental health?
Sometimes addressing the root cause of everything can help, if in fact that is the case for you. I know it was for me.
Thinking of you and hoping things get better!