Originally Posted by
Florence 
Hey Liz, as time goes on, your posts seem to be about your struggle with how to learn to accept things that are maddening, crazy, abusive and weird. Maybe he's just a high conflict person, and your challenge is to learn to say "Whatever, dude," and move along with your plans, whatever they are.
IMO, you should let yourself off the hook. Not every negative feeling is a resentment that has to be managed with step work, prayer, and forgiveness. It's perfectly normal to have negative reactions to negative, contradictory, and confusing behavior.
For me, I knew that when he said something that confused me and/or didn't make sense, my XAH was using or on his way. It was a primary feature of his addiction, and it was behavior DESIGNED to make me so preoccupied I left him alone in his illness. Once I saw the machination of this behavior, I could name it, observe it and set it aside.
Thank you, Florence, this was a great post. I was getting angry at myself for the fact that his reality differs from what actually transpired. It's like he doesn't even remember any of it and just picked something out of the air to be resentful about (and yes he labeled it a resentment).
Sorry that I hadn't responded earlier everyone, my grandfather died earlier today and I've been on the phone with family all day and completely forgot that I had started this thread!
Most of the time I do say 'whatever dude', but I found the anger creeping in and I was frustrated by it, because I know that it's complete silliness to be angry about someone else's distorted reality.
Yet, I also have to say that I have plenty of other resentments that I need to handle. But, this particular one was triggering me to start working on it. My own list of resentments is probably a few pages long, LOL.