How do you forgive yourself and forget the past?
I have finally made the decision to stop drinking for good. I've been binge drinking for the past 2 years now and have just recently lost my second job due to alcohol which was the breaking point for me as things were going so well.
I've been thinking a lot of all the stuff I've done in these past 2 years. I've embarrassed myself countless times, I'm known as the drunken **** in my community. Every time I drink I blackout for hours and wake up with only vague recollections of what I did. I would drink on the weekends and call numerous guys over throughout the night and wouldn't even remember what we did the following morning. I started drinking at 8 am before work and sometimes even on my break to the point of blacking out and getting caught. My managers were so kind and gave me a second chance and then I just go any ruined it again.
Now I'm home with no money, no job, no friends, I can't show my face in public..everyone knows what I'm like.
How can I ever forgive myself and forget all the stuff I've done? I think about it constantly and it's causing my depression to get worse. Everyone hates me I can't live with this humiliation.