I feel that he has always loved us , however now that he is not drinking, he is really present with us. It is very nice.
You know..
Being an addict myself... I tend to cut other addicts a lot of slack in the love department. But.. there are certain things that push my hurt buttons really bad... and when I've tried to address it and leave myself open to more hurt by trying to address it and getting shot down...
It makes me want to shut down.
I've tried to not react... but when I'm blown off on the one or two things that REALLY matter to me... it hurts to the point that I feel inconsequential yet again to someone.
Makes me wanna go numb again.
But... I have all the ghosts of my past transgressions whispering in my ear....
"Payback's a bitch eh ?"
Yeah.