Eden;
First, let me welcome you to SR! Here, you will find a place of comfort and support as you learn to deal more effectively with your son's illness and your own life.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this on top of your husband's illness. My prayers are with you all...
As for your son....well...you are right! You can't continue enabling him. He is an adult who needs to stand up on his own two feet. My son is a heroin addict, so, I do understand exactly how difficult this is for you...how easy it is to fall for his lines over and over.
But, your husband's needs come first here, as you state.
There is the Salvation Army that your son can go to. I understand they have intake 7 days a week. It is work therapy. They have AA meetings regularly. If he WANTS to get better, he can. And it is entirely 100% free.
I do urge you to go to some face to face alanon meetings. The support you will get there will help you with the burdens you face; will help you help yourself. We also have meetings here on SR. Check the forum for the chat and online meetings to see when they are.
We can detach with love from our sons' diseases, Eden. That is what this place and f2f meetings will help you understand. You might want to pick up the book, Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie too. It will help show what we can do to take better care of our own needs and stop enabling those whom we love. As Jon, the owner of this site says: "We can enable them right into the grave."
I'm glad you made it here; I hope to see you here often as we both grow in our recovery!
Shalom!
Oh, and btw; the prison WILL give him life saving medication.
Take good care of you!