Hi Yurt!
Interesting to me that the anniversary date is triggering you even though you say "obviously" it's over. I just survived my 20th and it was a difficult day for me bc of my expectations (which were unrealistic). Maybe you are at some level afraid you will change your mind? That the significance of that date and length of time could somehow pull you back into the black hole of your marriage?
Now YOU know and we on SR know that Yurt my sweet - you are NOT going back. But I suspect that an inner Yurt who put up with your marriage for much too long is just worked up about the length of time it dragged on and the significance of the date and views it as self betrayal? Your H clearly does not get that it's OVER. I wonder if this inner self is worried this man still has control over you even though you got away? Why wait to file? Why is H not clear that you are DONE? Have you not clearly communicated this to him? Maybe this part of YOU just needs some reassurance that things are truly drawing to a close and YURT is going to stick up for YURT?
I for one am so proud of you. Perhaps going away and working on building a trusting relationship with your inner self on that date will be a great plan for that date? Be well. Be kind to you. Hugs!