Originally Posted by
Chuckieinoz 
Well I feel I have blown all. Got saved from speed acid pot alcohol and the lifestyle that goes with that. Got radically "saved" ( Christianeze) felt the calling of God became a youth pastor walked with God for 24 years burned out in leadership wanted to leave my position in Church Pastor would not let me, but one day my Son got into trouble that ended him up in jail so the Pastor sent the assistant Pastor to tell me I was being released then got depression struggled with all that goes with Christians and depression started on the pills and here I am feeling like God should not waste His time on me because I have blown it.
1 Timothy 1 (NIV)
12 I am thankful to Christ Jesus our Lord. He has given me strength. I thank him that he considered me faithful. And I thank him for appointing me to serve him.
13 I used to speak evil things against Jesus. I tried to hurt his followers. I really pushed them around. But God showed me mercy anyway. I did those things without knowing any better. I wasn’t a believer.
14 Our Lord poured out more and more of his grace on me. Along with it came faith and love from Christ Jesus.
15 Here is a saying that you can trust. It should be accepted completely. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.
And I am the worst sinner of all. 16 But for that very reason, God showed me mercy. And I am the worst of sinners. He showed me mercy so that Christ Jesus could show that he is very patient. I was an example for those who would come to believe in him. Then they would receive eternal life.
If Saul/Paul can be forgiven there's hope for us all
D