you might try an experiment to specifically NOT drink for 90 days and spend every day of that time focused on finding as many positives of not drinking as you possibly can.
from what you've said, I get the impression that going 90 days without drinking will be a significant challenge for you. But, setting a goal like that and trying to accomplish it is one way to get really specific about what you are facing in your own personal relationship with alcohol.
Set a goal, work toward it, keep coming on here and sharing what your struggles and findings are. Get real honest with yourself and us about what's going on. Observe your feelings and thoughts and challenges.
You've taken the first and most important step; acknowledging that you may need to abandon your relationship with alcohol. Everyone's path from that point is different in the specifics, but in general you'll start to see some parallels if you hang around and stick with it long enough.