Yes I am. But, it isnt my primary problem. It really is for me a symptom of underlying stuff I need to deal with. There isnt a place for alcohol in my life so i have had to learn how to face things as they come and when it gets to be too much than I step back and regroup.
What I find interesting about the idea of "but I want to relax and let loose." Is I have never met a person who woke up in the morning and said " man am I glad I got my drunk on last night. I feel so relaxed and rejuvinated now." It is just a hollow argument. I believe made from fear of not knowing how it is to just be normal or not. It is ok to be a little bit crazy and sober while you do it. Go to a park and play on the swings. Or go to the zoo or an amusement park. Or even spend a weekend in your pj's and watch a three stooges marathon while eating a quart or ice cream right from the container. Now that is my idea of relaxing