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yeah its one thing I had to get pretty stinken selfish about. I quit for me. sure down the line I realized it was good for everyone else too but I did not do it for them I never would have either the booze had much too tight a grip on me. I had to sit down just me and the booze and sort this thing out it took a while but 1 day at a time I got past it.

I'm about the same age as you. Sounds like you got a decent life etc.. no reason for you to add booze tot he equation. In my case I drank to medicate myself so that i could cope with this life. I had no other way to tolerate anything. I went from a crap childhood to drugs and booze to cope with that to drugs and booze to cope with adulthood etc.. I too thought I think I might have trashed some of my best years.

From one perspective maybe i did trash some good years being drunk. But those years also helped form who i am today so I'm thankful. I'm happy i'm a recovering alcoholic. I dont really regret it. I've learned a lot from that big mistake and the stuff i've learned I've been able to utilize to help me in many other ways in life. So its not all bad.

fast forward my life now being sober is much different and a much higher quality. So the grass is greener on the sober side. It is a battle worth fighting. It may not always seem that way but it is.