MMMM... not sure why but I didn't get a message that someone posted!
Aw Dee (hug) yep I stuck it to one day and now have over a month. I still can't figure out why I drink when I don't even buy into the idea that it will turn out ok....pretty much given up on the god thing. I only "thank and please" the deity out of superstition, and it obviously doesn't work. And if god is all loving and caring and knowing...he/she wouldn't "punish" me with not letting me stay sober because I don't truly believe... heck not how I would treat my child!
Anyhow ... it is my problem to solve, not some deity's. So I will do my best. I'm at the point where I don't believe I can be "sober forever". It just hasn't been my experience. And I don't want to "die sober" cause that might mean I have to die before my next drink and I would rather live through the next drink that might come.
I know that sounds like saying it's ok to drink, but that isn't what I mean. What I mean is I want to live. This is really really a big deal for me cause I was suicidal for quite some time. The last few years I haven't been. I want to stay sober soooo much! But I simply will not give up living because I don't do it to other's satisfaction. I will continue to explore every way to NOT Drink. Drinking never takes me to a place I want to go.
OK ... sorta a rant and Dee (hug) remember that it isn't your job to save the world (hug). I don't envy you your commitment to SR. remember you are not god and thus can't always do it all (hug).
Nands