I'd like to second this ^^^. Sometimes reading in an online forum doesn't do enough to help, and face-to-face contact can bridge that gap. I'd strongly suggest Alanon, sooner rather than later. Here's a link to help you find a meeting:
http://www.al-anon.org/
I was filled with anger when I learned about my A's drinking, lying and secret spending, so much so that I was ready to leave him right then. The cooler heads at Alanon helped me find the right path for me; I believe they can do the same for you.
Wishing you strength and clarity.