Hi Lost,
Oh boy, we do want immediate gratification don't we? When I stopped drinking I knew I had to do a lot of work with my inner self. I had low self-esteem, was in a 'negative' rut and was quite comfortable playing the role of victim. I had a lot of guilt and shame to deal with. I made a decision to work on myself every single day and it's been a slow process but has definitely paid off.
You're not really lost, just listen to the quiet inner voice and it will guide you.
Love, Anna