Lost.
Hi everyone-
Its been almost 7 months since my last drunk, and while admittedly i'm doing better (almost out of debt, much better relationships, etc) I still feel like my life is going nowhere. I didn't expect not drinking would automatically turn everything around; that it would get my butt off the couch and take going to get my Masters degree seriously, that it would motivate me to do SOMETHING with my life, that it would stop making me jealous of all of my more successful friends, that I would automatically appreciate everything I have. OK yes i did expect that I guess. Stupid immediate gratification tendencies.
And I can almost cyber-hear what the responses to this are going to be: "GO TO AN AA MEETING!". I know thats what I should do- I mean it couldn't hurt. But I'm still haunted by my last experience with it, which was a feeling of negativity, judgement, and the feeling that I had to be there 24/7. Will I still be accepted after 7 months of not attending? Will people think I think I'm better than them for doing it alone for this long?
I wish there was another way, ANY WAY to get the effects of the program without having to go and face rejection again. Man, I am so whiny right now I'm annoying myself :-P.
I'm so lost.