I wouldn't be that surprised if this isn't one of those sneaky tricks your alcoholic subconscious brain pulls on you to try and lure you into a drink.
If it can convince you that you'd be better at something by drinking it will. It's like how we decide to take a different route home for some innocuous reason only to find that route also takes us past the door or the old watering hole or off-licence!
Or how we engineer a fight with the missus so we can have a drink and blame her. Anyone who's 'quit' a few times eventually gets to spot the alcoholic brain's sneaky ways.
Hang in there. If necessary buy audio books, or books with bigger type. Get a stonking bright daylight lamp <-- this will help. And give yourself time.
Oh, and don't drink!