this is great to read. I deal with all of this stuff as well. What now, what next, what about me, whats my reword, why always helping others out, expectations, no expectations, life is good, life is hard, i just want a normal simple everything is okay life, PMS, diet, lose weight, get ripped, be nice to others, lay on couch, don't lay on couch, do more, don't do more, **** people off, keep quiet, let others fail and watch and laugh ha ha. This is life. This is normal stuff that I have been ignoring for so long and now I am somewhat laughing and my 'is m's' and my craziness that my head creates. I am still a firm believer that this disease is a huge disease of perception. Going to a lunch meeting to talk about this craziness that comes around all the time. For today I will just focus on staying sober and looking forward to my couch tonight. I am tired of wanting more and doing more, I did smile at a stranger today and ignored my x's rants. He is going crazy now that I am about to take daughter home for 5 weeks for vacation. Saying she has hand, foot and mouth disease and might not be able to travel. Said school sent her home when she doesn't go to school on wednesdays. Wow. And to think before I would engage is just funny. You know on the 28th we will be on a flight, all will be good. If we are not, its okay too. Life will go on. That is the good thing, is life will go on we can take it how we want. And I love my pity party days, had one last night. Laid on the couch, didn't go to my meeting and be the donut girl, called the chair person and said I didn't want to go. Didn't make up lies. Even thought I thought of every lie possible.
I am so far from perfect, in fact I am mess with a long dress to be honest. ha ha
love you all