I have been clean since November 2013.
The thought of relapse frightens me enough to cry.
Life is so much better. Why would I ruin that??
I look at pics of ppl I used to hang with enjoying summer and boozing/drugging and my ****** self misses it. FOR WHAT?!
I graduated as a result of getting clean and applying to schools for my bachelors feeling less than... Like my mistakes are inked between my transcripts, poisoning my future.
I don't know how to feel proud of myself.
I feel like... Outside of myself?
Sure everyone else should commend me, knowing all I've been through... But I'm not even proud of myself.
Do I treat myself? With what? A water?
I don't want to lose this grip. I can't.
Thanks for bringing this up. I had to get that out.