You know better than to think alcohol is going to do anything other than amp your anxiety way the hell up. The first year is a hot mess roller coaster. The second year is shaping up to be that too but not quite as bad. We can figure this out AO.
Undertaking this during the premenopausal stage of life is just damn fine timing on our part.
I have never taken any pills for mental health in my life. Finally after listening to me complain about anger for months on end the doc gave me 20 milligrams of celexa to take once a day. They make me feel like I did BEFORE. They make me feel like me. I don't plan to stay on them forever but to get me through this period in my life they are great.
I am a big believer that diet and exercise can solve most problems but like you said it works until it doesn't.
I'm just glad you are back here safe. Love you AO.