I'm not recalling how long you'd been sober, but here's something I've been noticing; I think it takes a long while to 're-wire' ourselves in sobriety so that we adapt to the world without booze and reset our systems, creating new habits and ways of dealing with life.
I'm sorry to hear you succumbed to a craving and are agonizing a bit over the implications. I'd really like to encourage you to be grateful that it didn't go any further, and to close that door with all your might lest it open enough to let the addict back in.
In your words, I can see that you already "know" the things that will help you keep mind, body, spirit healthy and whole. Knowing and managing to accomplish it are often very distant things.... but by at least knowing, you're on your way.
I'd suggest you look back at this situation and honestly ask yourself what other responses you could have chosen. What - in the future - might be your 'go to' response.
I'd suggest you spend some time writing down all the reasons sobriety is important to you and all the ways in which 'treating' anxiety with booze is a self-defeating practice that only leads to worsening of the symptoms and causes all sorts of associated difficulties in life.
Good job coming in here and owning up and asking for support. NOW.... on to the business of supporting YOURSELF, because you know this stuff, AO.
Back on the Path with you.
