I'm so sorry for what you're going through. My own experience that I've here for is a second hand one. Watching my bf struggle through his 18 year old daughter's heroin addiction. I believe you're right to not rescue and for exactly the reason you've stated. Last summer he put himself into a dangerous situation involving guns and scary people and literally dragged her home. It changed nothing except to traumatize me with fear that her addiction will get them both killed . she's back in the same scene and never even thanked him for saving her. I hope it's OK to post this-just want to emphasize that teaching is dangerous and thankless work!