It used to terrify me to imagine a life without booze - ever again. Just starting to think about it made death look attractive.
Drinking was not my problem. It was my solution. Till it stopped working. Then I had 2 problems; Drinking and not-drinking.
I was trapped in a double-bind situation.
I finally gave up choosing not-drinking ODAAT and accepted the fact that I would die drunk. I had ceased fighting everything and everyone - even alcohol.
At that very moment, alcohol ceased looking attractive to me. I was released from my obsession to drink and never again did alcohol tempt me. The idea of life-long sobriety is now my default attitude.
Some call it a spiritual awakening. Some call it an epiphany. I call it moksha ( emancipation, liberation or release).
