I had a miserable life as a drinker - the onmly time I went out was to get more booze. But it was familiar.
I felt as if I was still in charge even tho I was really out of control. Eventually I got so out of control I nearly died.
I had to change....and I found the fear of that change, was way way greater than the reality.
Reality's been good to me
It'll be ok sjpatrik - and you're not alone here
Welcome!
D